Forgiving is NOT about reconciling with your perpetrator.

Forgiveness is the experience of remembering the past with your body staying completely silent: no quickening of your pulse, no racing heart, no tightness in your chest, no knot in your stomach. 

Just calm, stillness & silence.

Forgiveness is not between you and someone else but between you and your own body. Because NOT-forgiving is an experience in your nervous system: unprocessed events that your brain hasn’t yet integrated and therefore keeps replaying on a loop.

When the person who hurt you most was even the one you had trusted most, this can really fu** with your sanity.

Here's WHY this happens:

🔺 When an experience is overwhelming, the brain struggles to file away the memory away as a PAST event. 

🔺 Instead, the amygdala -the brain’s fire alarm- keeps firing as if the danger and hurt were ongoing. 

🔺 The hippocampus, which normally timestamps events as “over,” gets bypassed. 

🔺 The prefrontal cortex thus can’t organise the fragments into a coherent narrative.

🔎 Thus the memory lingers in raw form: flashes of images, body sensations, surges of fear, pain or rage.

🔎 It’s like your brain tried to save the file but the program froze. 

🔎The document is still sitting open on your desktop, unsaved, flashing in the background, draining your system.

That’s why even the smallest reminders can still open the file yet again, flooding you with the same charge and sensation as on the day it happened. 

It's exhausting!

🔎 This is why you can't simply DECIDE to forgive. 

🔎 The cognitive understanding -and the relief that comes with that- comes AFTER the nervous system has finished its processing, not before.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗘𝗠𝗗𝗥 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻: 𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘀 “𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘" 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀.

✅ Bilateral stimulation of the brain hemispheres moves the memory out of the amygdala’s alarm centre and into long-term storage. 

✅ Now the hippocampus timestamps it as “done.” 

✅ The prefrontal cortex integrates it into your life story.

✅ The body calms. The charge dissolves.

Forgiveness doesn't require a moral decision. 

Instead it is a physiological shift. 

'The past is over'/'I've forgiven' means: 

remembered information has come to rest IN YOUR BODY.

You now feel presence, calm and peace.

Forgiveness means: freeing time, energy and headspace to write the future.

EMDR coaching sets you free.

Working with me isn’t for everyone & is NOT therapy.

I only work with a small handful of changemakers, leaders & entrepreneurs at a time -those who are here to make a bigger impact and who are fed up with toxic OLD stories -personal AND systemic. If this is you, here's what I want to know:

𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿 —

𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗳𝗮𝗿, 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲?

🔥